Friday, May 15, 2009

About the Blog

I am a list person. Not a fanatical one, but I make lists. I make lists to prioritize my schedule and lists of things to buy at the store. In moments of inspiration I will make a list of goals I want to accomplish in a year. I, like most list makers, get annoyed by things not done on my list, but I can live with it. I admit. I’m guilty of what others do.. I cheat. Yes, if I do something that was not originally on my list, I write it down and cross through it giving the impression that it was there from the beginning. I do that so that…well actually …I am not sure why I do that…

So ok... let me go over my list..

Turned 50, Check.

Decide to move to Israel, Check.

Sold my house and most of my possessions, yep, Check.

Boarded an airplane with my wife and youngest son for the Middle-East, Check.

Let me see now...what's next... Hmmm...It's hard to read the next thing on the list. Let me get my glasses. The words are faded and appear to be in a language I don't understand. I can’t make out what is next…

Oh no…. I am having a Mid-life Middle-East Crisis.

It all started a year ago when I turned 50. You see, I am a bona fide “mid-lifer” now. I am at that age where the things I do are the things I've done for a long time and what's the use in changing, right? However, something happens at mid-life. You feel a second wind. A wild scent wafts in the air and arouses the senses. You become motivated like a worn-out football team in the locker room at halftime when the coach shouts,"We can still win this, we're only behind by 40 points!" Suddenly you feel like you did when you were young… before you knew better. Full of adventure and spunk. Only this time you’re about 80 pounds heavier. Yeah. ok...the body doesn’t perform like it used to…but that’s alright… The seat is a little worn, the tires are balding and it runs a little sluggish throughout the day. But like in Star Wars, it was the old starship the Millennium Falcon that won the day and the Death Star was destroyed. You’re like that starship, you may have a hard time getting into warp speed, but once you do, there is no stopping you…literally, once all that extra weight gets momentum, it’s hard to stop.

So this is a blog about my adventures of Mid-life in the Middle-East.

The Essentials About Me

I was born April 5, 1958 in Midland Texas. To a Mr. and Mrs. Merle Wilson Benjamin.

51 years later, I moved to Israel, and I am living in Jerusalem with my wife, Jerri, and my youngest of five kids, Preston.

You need to know this about me. I have sudden surprise sneeze attacks that are loud, often known to wake up the grandchildren. They can be violent, and on occasion even throw out my back. Sometimes it will be just a single blast, but many times multiple blasts. I have no warning system to indicate one is even approaching. They are Stealth Sneezes. They come in under the Radar and then Bam!!

The worst part of my day is putting on my socks in the morning. The routine I have to go through is equivalent to what a pearl diver does before he goes underwater for three or four minutes. I take several slow deep breaths, then down I go. I feel the pressure in my ears, my face turns red, my eyes begin to bulge, I put the sock on, hopefully getting it on in my first attempt and then up to the surface for air. One down, one to go. (I love summer and flip-flops.)

When I wake up in the morning and get out of bed, my right foot does not cooperate often leaving me crippled as I walk to the bathroom.

I admit that I still want to dress cool but I am being tempted to drop cool for comfort. Have you ever seen those Sears stretch pants and orthopedic shoes...what a great idea. I saw a guy recently wearing plaid elastic waist pants, white nurses shoes, a light green button up shirt unbuttoned with a white undershirt sporting a Gilligan hat, oversized sunglasses with the peripheral extensions and I thought, “What planet did you beam in from?” Not anymore. I know now why he was wearing that... Comfort my friend, comfort.

He's feeling the breeze while I am in my tight denim jeans, being a hip American in my Italian too-narrow shoes and my European-cut shirt that I bought at one of those 20-something shops. Let's face it. The European-cut shirt is not made for the typical middle-age guy. It is a shirt that you have to suck your gut in and hold your breath in order just to button it. Once on, you get the feeling that the stress on the those buttons is so great that at anytime they could launch like a series of Patriot missiles.

Most importantly, I am a believer in Yeshua (the Hebrew name for Jesus). I love and desire to be pleasing to Him in all I do. I love everything about my family. I am madly in love with my wife of almost 30 years. My five kids and three “in-loves” are amazing and my seven grandchildren well… they’re all geniuses and well advanced for their ages. They are going to be famous inventors, Presidents, adventurists, world-changers, history makers all for the honor and glory of God.

So I am starting this blog, more as therapy rather than developing a readership. I need a safe place that I can retreat to in order to process. To journal my thoughts, kind of like David did when he wrote the Psalms, well…maybe not that meaningful, more like the diary of Ann that is way too dramatic. It’s really more in the category of a day in the life of Charlie Brown.

This blog is about when West meets Middle-East.

It will be full of adventure, duels to the death, and secret passages to hidden tombs with buried treasures. Heart-stopping suspense as I dangle from rope bridges over mile deep canyons while half naked natives shoot arrows at me. There will be surprises around every turn, bad guys lurking in the shadows, snakes crawling in my bed at night while I sleep. Deadly scorpions in my clothes…. Ok, it probably won't be that awesome...actually more like the Jonas Brothers meet the Accidental Tourist. But I promise it will be full of drama, romance and adventure in a caffeine-free diet coke kinda way. And maybe along the way you’ll have a few laughs and see something that will make you think. I will leave you with a quote. Every time I walk out my apartment door in Israel, I think of the words of Bilbo Baggins from the Lord of the Rings, "Stepping out on the road is a dangerous business. You have to keep your feet under you, or before you know it you'll be swept off to who knows where!"

Next week, The Middle-east adventure begins…


  1. Yay Dad! I love it! It is great and I laughed a lot! Love you and keep it up!

  2. Dad, oh my word!!!! This is AWESOME!!! I read the whole blog to Nathan out loud. He was laughing so hard that he got choked up and had a coughing attack sort of similar to Meme's :) I am so glad you're doing this. Keep it up! I love you very much!

  3. haha...G-diddy i laughed through the whole thing.good stuff

  4. SO FUNNY!!! It's late here and Ray is in bed but I almost want to wake him up to read it - but the midlife thing will kick in and bathroom break along with needing to get comfortable again - no that would be a train wreck. He can SO relate. If our girls didn't want him to look hip & cute he would SO be in the outfit you described!! Thank you, I needed that laugh!!

  5. You are my favorite writer, honey. I'm looking forward to many more blogs to come! Love you 'to the sky'!!!!

  6. This has to be one of the most entertaining blogs I've read in a long time - and it's merely an introduction. You have a clever way of intertwining pop-culture references that a sci-fi nerd like myself adores. I look forward to reading about your adventures...or lack thereof :-).


  7. That was great!!! I can't stop laughing about the sock thing!! I too feel ya bro!! lol I was wondering what I was going to do since my favorite show ended "Prison Break" now I know. I will just follow your adventures!!! Thanks!

  8. Jason and I will totally enjoy reading your adventures!!
    Thanks for sharing them with us over here!

    Vanessa Everman

  9. that was one of the funniest blogs I've read in a long time. keep it up

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  11. Had to change my name:) Classic, Gary! Loved reading about your "adventures". Keep it up:)

  12. Hilarious! Great job, Gary... keep the posts rolling...

  13. Gary, soooooo funny. I read it outloud to Momo and Courtney was right...........couging fit, but I loved it. Keep it up! Love you. Meme

  14. man, you're good. keep em coming :)

  15. Way hilarious! I will be checking in regularly for sure so keep 'em coming!

  16. Gary! That was awesome. I can't wait to read the next "chapter". Love and miss y'all!

  17. haha! i forgot how funny you are... love the sock story!
    so excited for you guys to be over there with the place/people you love!

  18. and now we know where Destiny get the theatrics in writing from!
    great blog... can't wait to hear more.
    thanks for sharing.
    love to you all.

  19. It felt like we were sitting across a table from you and you were entertaining us with another story and giving us a little excerpt on your life. Miss you and Gerri terribly, and it will be nice to keep up with your adventures this way!

  20. Oops...sorry. JERRI. LOL I always do that...

  21. Love the title and the double entendre. Miss you guys!!!!!